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| Falling all over again. |
| 10.21.04 (1:24 am) [edit] |
|
It is fall and I am nesting. There is an amazing hue to the sky that comes only in October. A chill is in the air and an extra quilt is on the bed. The amazing spectacle of leaves assures us that yes, there is a God and at each turn a new panorama is revealed to outshine the one that came before it. This is the palette of fall. For some reason, this palette evokes something in me… a need for order. Fall is about ritual. It is about doing the things that bring serenity and security to your existence. Fall is about seeking comfort food for your body, your soul, and your mind. Perhaps it is something that we genetically acquired from our forefathers; the inherent need to hunker down and prepare for winter. In other words…nesting. The grape jelly that I made is neatly stacked in the pantry. Beef stew is cooking in the oven and the firewood is in its basket near the fireplace. There are candles burning in the candleholders and my Windham Hill CDs are playing on the stereo. The ritual has been the same for as long as I can remember and each year I grow to appreciate it more. I know I am not alone in this. My sister’s nesting ritual consists of, among other things, neatly stacking her cupboards full of food. Her satisfaction in this, however, derives from the fact that her cupboards are full. In other words, she doesn’t like anyone to disrupt the order of things by actually eating the food. It’s all about self-sufficiency and she is the human equivalent of a squirrel. I am a completely different person this time of year. I, once again, begin craving things of a domestic nature. I start drinking tea. I actually use pots and pans. One day last fall, I made an after-school snack, dinner, and a dessert. My girls thought that I was dying and this was my way of breaking it to them gently. It took me a week to convince them that I would live to order pizza again. But, not before I have hand-dipped beeswax candles, cooked a pot roast and made a loaf of homemade bread. Like a blaring trumpet, fall announces a changing of the guard. It beckons us to pack away the casual flow of summer and gravitate toward routine. School begins, daylight slowly disappears, and the grill prepares for hibernation. Fall is a bit of a dichotomy; it brings with it change…a change of clothes, a change of scenery and change of heart, but it also signifies a time of year when we hasten back to tradition. Despite the drastic changes in our lives over the past three years, I have tried to keep our traditions alive. This year we made our annual trip to the orchard/winery that we have been visiting every fall since they were very young. We picked grapes for jelly and sampled wine and sparkling grape juice, we picked out pumpkins, and had a wonderful dinner at one of our favorite places. Since it used to be the four of us and is now the three of us, we changed some of the details and started a new chapter. We had an amazing time. It is one of those days that I will always remember and I’m glad that I didn’t abstain just because it is a remnant of the past. Sometimes situations change and we let go of the traditions that were special to us or we try to recreate them exactly—which we cannot do. I have chosen to hold on to the things that are special but change the way in which we approach them. In this way, we are showing respect for the past but reflecting the promise we see in the future. Due to my never ending money crunch we have had to cancel one of my favorite traditions…our annual fall trip with mom, Linda and Jenson to Monticello and Colonial Williamsburg. It almost makes me cry to think about. The smell of burning wood and hot cider, playing checkers by the fireplace at the lodge, shopping in Merchant’s Square, dinner in the taverns and the sinful "Death by Chocolate" cake at the Trellis. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of memories that I have acquired from these trips. Ali has brought it up often this year, with the same melancholy tone as the rest of us; and while its absence is greatly missed, I am gratified to know that my children are growing up with an immense appreciation for the value of tradition and ritual. The year that we were renovating the house, I didn’t do anything for Christmas, not even buy a tree. As teenagers, I didn’t think that the girls would even notice; but, as I found out later, they were terribly disappointed. For Megan and Alison, Christmas means coming home to a house that smells like pine and looks like a Christmas card. Trees are decorated while drinking hot chocolate and watching Prancer and when you wake up on Christmas morning there are cinnamon rolls waiting for you. Their expectations are not about greed or over-indulgence. They are about the past and the present being held together by a moment. It is about reliving old memories and at the same time building new ones. Embracing tradition is like the coming of fall. It satisfies that need for order. It is comfort food for a weary soul. Perhaps one day without even knowing why, my daughters will find serenity in the glow of a candle and security in a well-stocked cupboard. They will pass an orchard or a pumpkin patch and feel a sudden urge to stop. Tradition is the thread that ties one generation to another. Maybe that is what inspires me about fall… the promise of continuity in a world that is at best uncertain. [b]NOTE: I HAVE ADDED A WILLIAMSBURG LINK. IT HAS SOME OF THE PICTURES FROM OUR PAST TRIPS. ALI AND HER COUSIN JENSON HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. MEGAN CHOSE NOT TO GO WITH US AND IS, THEREFORE, NOT IN ANY OF THEM BECAUSE SHE NEVER REALLY GOT INTO THE COLONIAL SCENE. Didn't want you to think I was choosing favorites![/b] |
posted by: shoplove (reply)
post date: 10.21.04 (12:20 pm)
You make jelly?!?!? I wish I could do that! I am definitely a nester too! I love everything about this time of year... the smells, the warmth, the colors and especially the comfort food. I am usually the take out queen, but I cannot wait to get to the grocery store to stock up. I'm even geared up for the holidays already. :) I love being with my family & close friends and counting blessings. It is such a magical time for me! Thanks for sharing.
posted by: Dariana (reply)
post date: 10.25.04 (7:11 pm)
I just love the way you write. Its amazing. Ran by to say hi before tblog goes down again, lol.
Grace, beauty, humor, strength.
Alison Haley Cloud
Nov. 16, 1987-March 1, 2005
