Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2008 May
2008 March
2008 February
2007 December
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
My Links
Megan and Ali's at their dad's wedding in May
Ali's Caringbridge Page (you'll want to scroll to the bottom and read up)
Video of Ali
Ali's Xanga Journal
Conservative Anomaly
My Mom's Blog
Doeedyed's Blog
Cutter's Blog
Cyberwriter's Blog
Irles Blog
Kerstin's Blog
consciousphobic's blog
Pastor Dave's Blog
Finaly Free's Blog
Surrogate's Blog
swanktrendz
69 Whisper's Blog
Inkspector's Blog
Ruined's Blog
Irish's Blog
Godsmack's Blog
Mitch Doolittle's Blog
Goldie's Blog
Thouloos Lair
Kurt Maddox Blog
Mimi's World
Bawdy's Blog
Heavy Arms Blog
Lady G's Blog
Fractal Mom
GraceShaker
April's Blog
Ottomanprang's Blog
MiMi's Blog
Ashli's Blog
Deb's Blog
Danielle's Blog
BillyRyan's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| oasis. |
| 11.19.06 (11:54 am) [edit] |
Ali’s birthday was a bit easier than I thought it would be. I'm not exactly sure how you quantify such a thing--but, I felt strong and in good spirits. I bought a little evergreen in a pot and some shiny violet, bright green and silver snowflake ornaments. Megan and I decorated the tree at a coffeehouse. I wanted something that would last longer than a week—something bright and sparkling.
It was a far cry from the days of watching them decorate their tree together, pulling out ornaments collected over the years while drinking hot cocoa, eating Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes and watching “Prancer”. It gave me peace though—it allowed me the ability to at least feel like I was doing something special for her and it was healing for Megan and I to do it together.
As I picture us standing at her grave it is somewhat surreal…like living a nightmare, but, very matter-of-factly. The clouds were dark and heavy and the cold rain turned to a pounding sleet. Everything seemed gray—the sky, the trees, the landscape.
As I drove up I saw a splash of color—a large pile of brightly colored flowers and two happy birthday balloons. I hadn’t cried all day, but tears welled up in my eyes knowing that she was still remembered; that her friends had indeed taken her with them as they made their way in the grown up world and that they had taken time out of their lives to remember her on this day.
It was the first time that Megan, her dad and I had been alone together at the cemetery. There were new things scattered around the headstone—some angels, a letter, and a little rock engraved with the word ‘strength’.
I put the tree down next to her headstone. It was very pretty and oddly elegant—I think she would approve. It served its purpose anyway-- although it was much more for me than it was for Ali. While I have never felt like she is there, I hoped that she was at least looking down smiling at the sight of the three of us standing together. Our sorrows mingled—as did memories of our happiness—but they mingled silently.
After a while, we walked back to our separate cars, soaking wet. I sat for a minute and looked back at the grave and couldn’t help but smile. Normally, this place is simply a reminder of our heartache; but today, there had been a celebration of sorts and it was--like our girl, an oasis of color in a sea of gray.
|
|
|
| |
posted by: judypatooote (reply)
post date: 11.19.06 (9:35 am)
I remember the time when my friend Lola and Bob took me to Ali's grave....It's hard not to cry and smile at the same time.....When I took her her Starbucks bouquet there were flowers there then too....she will always be remembered Lori... because she was so special to everyone... I'm glad you had Megan and Chuck with you when you went.....She will always be with us in our heart......love U
|
Grace, beauty, humor, strength.
Alison Haley Cloud
Nov. 16, 1987-March 1, 2005
|
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
