It's been a cancer kind of week here at Lake Wobegon...

By Lori Schuster


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It's been a cancer kind of week here at Lake Wobegon...
07.21.06 (12:32 am)   [edit]

My apologies to Garrison Keillor (whom I love)—and you as well. Unfortunately, this phrase popped into my mind as I was walking up the stairs and as I have had a glass of my favorite $7.00 bottle of wine I went with it.

This is more of an update than a finely tuned piece of writing. The reality is that this has been a week where the focus seems to keep coming around to cancer.

THE FLOWER

The first event happened on Wednesday when I received a large envelope in the mail. Upon opening the mysterious envelope, I discovered a piece of wall-cloth with a beautiful painted flower on it. My heart nearly stopped and tears immediately took over.

And now…the rest of the story…

Two summers ago, Ali had been hospitalized for a very serious e-coli based infection. It was further complicated by the fact that her blood counts were incredibly low. This meant a hospital stay of ten days.

While we were used to hospital stays…both planned and unplanned…this particular visit had her very discouraged. In a feeble attempt to cheer her up I tried bringing ‘home’ to her. I packed up her sheets and bedspread, our coffeemaker and mugs, and I plastered the walls with magazine photos of cute boys. This made her more comfortable but there was little that made her smile.

Noticing this, Jenny--one of her nurses, got permission for Ali to help an artist who was in the children’s ward painting a mural. So, there she sat in her pajamas painting flowers on the hospital wall…and smiling. Each time we went through the double doors from the oncology clinic into the hospital I would see Ali’s beautiful handiwork and be reminded of her radiant incredible smile.

Apparently, the hospital was doing a remodeling project and Jenny retrieved one of Ali’s flowers and sent it to me. She said that she would often touch that flower when she passed—as it was her connection to Ali.

I’m not sure that she will ever realize the power of that gift.

And now the power of another gift (note adept use of seque).

THE POWER OF A GIFT: EMILY'S BIG PICTURE

As many of you know, Craig took about seventy photos of Ali one morning (including the one on this blog). They weren’t just beautiful photos…they captured her spirit and they are a gift and a blessing to me. Recently, I talked to Craig about how that would be an amazing thing to do for other families going through the same ordeal.

Well, today, I met someone who is doing exactly that. His name is Jeff Dykehouse and he is across from our studio. Jeff lost his 14 month old daughter to Leukemia and has decided to devote his time and resources to photographing free of charge children with cancer (who are in hospice) and their families (also moms and dads with cancer who have young children).

I saw his images and they were AMAZING. What a treasure it is for these families to have photographs with their children (often the last photo they will ever have). He then gives them a huge (this is my idea of a measurement) beautifully framed print—free of charge. He is living in his studio and donating all of this out of his own pocket. He is doing commercial work to pay for the charitable work. He would like to devote all of his time to the Emily’s Big Picture Project and unfortunately, there are enough families facing this to keep him busy full time.

If anyone out there thinks this is a worthy cause, he could certainly use help with funding this effort. I don't believe that the website even comes close to doing his photos justice and he is in the process of having a new site done.

For now here is the link in case you are inclined to help.: http://www.emilysbigpicturepr...
I could tell in a second that everything he does is from the heart…he gets it because he’s been there.

THE FOG HAS LIFTED.

Finally, as I have decided to send in sample chapters for a manuscript…I needed to go home to get some information to develop a time line. I came across among other things (Ali’s driver’s license, yearbooks, slippers, retainer, etc.) all of the cards that we received after Ali left us. IT OVERWHELMED ME! I just want to take a minute to say, that because I was in a terrible fog… I didn’t say thank you enough. I tried…but it was all just a blur. With more clarity I would like to say once again and quite emphatically… God Bless all of you who stood by us month after month…those who sent heartfelt notes, cards, encouragement, flowers, and gifts of money that helped me survive so I could take care of my girl. There are so many people that I never even met…that did such wonderful things to cheer Ali, Megan and myself. Believe me, none of it went un-noticed. Without you I never would have made it.


“ANY CHANGE, EVEN A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, IS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY DRAWBACKS AND DISCOMFORTS" --ARNOLD BENNETT

Megan has decided to stay at her summer job this fall and remain in Elkhart where she can be near her friends. If she returned here she would have to find a new job and make new friends and I think that she is as sick of change as I am. My main objective is that Megan is happy. So...once again the wheels are turning. I'm moving out of the apartment because I just can't afford it. Craig and I are heading out on a road trip to Colorado this week so we will have plenty of time to talk this through.

That’s the news from Lake Wobegon (it was a big glass of wine)…
Where all the women are strong (as if we’ve had a choice)…
All the men are good looking (as if we’d have it any other way)…
And all of the children are above average (um…sure, we’ll go with that).


 


posted by: Allison (reply)
post date: 07.21.06 (5:11 am)

I like the new layout.

I often come across stuff of ali's that i haven't seen for a while (and stuff that you had given me...). And it's usually just a good reminder of the role she played and does play in my life. But it also reminds me of how much i miss her.

Hope the lake is treating you well. It sounds nice. Any of the 'above average children' around the age of 18...and good-looking? :-D Ha.

Keep posting.



posted by: judypatooote (reply)
post date: 07.23.06 (4:31 pm)

I don't know what to say but WOW..... I didn't know Ali got to paint on the mural... of course you may have told me... Thats how I felt when I found the flower that Ali paint for Grandma Ellie....it's framed and hung in my bedroom...... What a wonderful thing for Jeff to do.....we know what it means to have those wonderful photos thanks to your wonderful Craig.... I am going to the sight and donate.....

I like the new look.....have a good trip and be safe.....love U



posted by: judypatooote (reply)
post date: 07.23.06 (4:35 pm)

I tried to get on Jeff's sight for emilys big picture, but it wouldn't work....



posted by: lorischuster (reply)
post date: 07.23.06 (4:41 pm)

Thanks mom...I think that I fixed it. you are very sweet. I'll be in touch. Love you.



posted by: lorischuster (reply)
post date: 07.23.06 (4:41 pm)

Thanks mom...I think that I fixed it. you are very sweet. I'll be in touch. Love you.



posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 07.23.06 (7:55 pm)

I SO love coming to your blog--eventhough I don't do it nearly enough. I've dealt with so many medical problems lately it's sometimes hard to believe there's anyone that knows how you feel--I think you do. That coupled with the fact that I dealt with childhood cancer with my sister makes me feel an deeper connection. Thank you for all your posts :) And thank you for the link, what a wonderful idea.



posted by: Liz (reply)
post date: 07.28.06 (7:25 pm)

I don't know how to take her with me to college.



posted by: lorischuster (reply)
post date: 08.01.06 (5:30 am)

Reply to: Alli
It's hard not to miss her...impossible actually. It means so much to know that you all loved her so very much. Alli...I'm living at the beach all summer--lots of good looking 18 year olds! Y'all should come for a visit!




posted by: lorischuster (reply)
post date: 08.01.06 (5:33 am)

Reply to: FinalyFree
I know that you have had so many of your own trials and grief... I think that I do know how you feel. When I see your name pop up it's like an old friend has come to visit...even though we have never met. Life's funny that way isn't it? Hope you are feeling better. Very nice of you to stop by.




posted by: lorischuster (reply)
post date: 08.01.06 (5:35 am)

Reply to: Liz
You are taking her with you in the most practical way that you can... in your heart.




posted by: deb (reply)
post date: 08.01.06 (3:58 pm)

I love/hate coming here to read your posts about your growth and perspective on getting on with life after such trama. I love to come here because I enjoy your writing, and I hate coming here because I always tear up and can hardly read through the tears.

Thanks for stopping by my blog...


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Grace, beauty, humor, strength.
Alison Haley Cloud
Nov. 16, 1987-March 1, 2005